Catching up...

Sooo... In the last almost two weeks. Hmmm... I went to a party the Saturday before Halloween that I guess was an 80s Halloween party, dressed up as myself circa 1988. (no photos) Sunday before Halloween was Rhi's 3rd birthday party where I spent 5 hours making ratatouille, which the kids all hated. (no photos) I spent Halloween proper at Jen's with the girls for the beginning of the night and then went to trivia night at the Old Lompoc, which my team won. (no photos) Yesterday I went to another (post-)Halloween party with no costume and then out for Thai food and back home for a DVD. (no photos) I hate my camera and I'm bad at taking pictures and the people who do take pictures never seem to like to share them. In between I had my email hacked into and was very disappointed in someone and met some new interesting people. I think I have to leave it at that.

New favorite found item!

I love the notes on FOUND most of all I think, and this one is sooooo awesome. But you have to go read how the finder described it. Equally awesome.

http://www.foundmagazine.com/comments/665

I'll do a real post tonight.

What a week!

Wow... So in the last week Tabi (one of my pseudo-nieces) was in the hospital overnight on IV fluids (she's fine now), I found a lump on Jackson's chest and tried to convince myself he didn't have cancer (he doesn't and is perfectly healthy), and as of right now my mom is is New Jersey visting my aunt and her husband and their cat are at their house in Fallbrook ignoring a mandatory evacuation order while the fires rage around them. Add this to the continuing breakup mess and trying to replace everything I need to go on with life and just trying to figure out how things work now that I'm single... Some days all I can do is just keep going, and that takes considerable effort.

Quotes for the day

Just a couple things I ran across recently...

You mustn't give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they're strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky. -- Holly Golightly, in Breakfast at Tiffany's

"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. " —Herbert Otto

Another found item...

Love this one too.

http://www.foundmagazine.com/comments/559

The haircut

So this is intended to be a bit of a poll. I've always had kind of mixed reaction when I do this to myself. So here are the pics -- let me know what you think.

I scare myself a little in this one.

Crying

Crying is good. I've wanted to cry (usually for no good reaon) all weekend and have been fighting it. Tonight I watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition and there were kids with cancer and I cried a whole bunch. Good release. I don't think I could be any more of a train wreck without trying.

Found...

I love the found website -- there's a link to the site over there on the left under "Fun Things to Look At". You have to read all the comments too... I really really liked this particular found item though. I think I may make myself an Action! List! tonight...

http://www.foundmagazine.com/comments/472

Mini-road trip...

Today I went to go take a couple photos of a house for work (the office job). Not sure I've even mentioned that on here really. I'll have to check. Anyway, I went out to Ridgefield, WA which is pretty much out in the country as far as I'm concerned. My opinion is supported by the following things I saw on my way:

I believe this to be a llama (or possibly an alpaca)

And this I think is a donkey

I saw cows too but the pictures were all blurry because I was moving.

I was trying to take a driving picture that showed my shaved head but none of them really turned out. (Yes, I shaved my hair to 1/8 inch.) I like this one though...it's mysterious and atmospheric :)

I need to take a photo of the head so I can see what people think. It's generally not very popular but it feels good to cut it off. A fresh start if you will. And I like rubbing it.

I also legitimately made dinner tonight for the first time in a month. It felt good. And tasted good. It also felt good not to do it for a month. I needed the break.

Amy and Ron have baby news for those of you following that. Check Amy's blog if you're one of them.

I think I've lost 10 lbs in the last month -- essentially all the weight I gained in the month before that. I'm working on making sure I eat enough. And the not smoking isn't going so well. Trying again tomorrow.

On a lighter note, I'm all into watching America's Next Top Model this season because one of the girls has Asperger's syndrome. And she's gorgeous. Totally rooting for her.

Wag more, bark less

I keep seeing these bumper stickers around town that say "Wag more, bark less". I always kind of wondered what the story was and they seem to be becoming more and more common all the time. (Not sure if that's the case in other parts of the country but I'm curious to know...) Since I've been pretty introspective lately -- really looking at everything in my life --the other day I saw one and it really made an impression on me. I had already realized that I had become very serious and a bit angry about various things in the last couple/few years. In particular a client sent me an email about her daughter and it ended with "You must meet her. Robin lives to laugh.". I thought, what a great thing, to live to laugh. And I used to laugh a lot more. I know I'll never be one of those people who's ALWAYS happy. They make me nervous. You have to feel your feelings, even the bad ones. A little barking is necessary. So long story short, I really like the idea of wagging more and barking less. I ordered some stickers and will put one on my truck if it ever stops raining. I may even take off one of the angry ones. (I may not :)) You can get your own here: http://www.agathaandlouise.com/servlet/the-Wag-More-Bark-Less/Categories Or I have a few extras if you're local.

Polish Festival

Last post for today and I should be caught up. Ken (my brother) and I went to the Polish Festival yesterday. It's right here in North Portland and I had never been. Bad Pole! Or half-Pole anyway :) Hmmm... That just sounds odd. Anyway, it was kind of fun. Small, not all that much to see. I got to eat pierogies and drink a not-very-delicious Polish beer. We saw kids dancing the polka or something. We also got very fun tshirts that say "Polska" and have the Polish symbol or whatever on them. (I'll have to do a pic of that later.) And being the narcissist I am, hot Polish boys! Seriously though, it's weird to be around so many people who look vaguely familiar in some weird way. Like a family reunion with people you've never met and aren't actually related to.

Ken eating kielbasa and not smiling his usual picture smile

The forementioned dancers...

And the also forementioned not-so-good beer. Beer nonetheless. Hence the smile.

Attack of the webworms!

I meant to post this a while back and never got around to it. The webworms have since subsided with the colder weather, but they completely devoured a walnut tree in a neighboring backyard.

Notice the lack of greenery? The webworms ate it all and left behind their nasty webs. So what is a webworm, you ask? Well... they look like this:

Kinda cute until thousands of them are crawling through your backyard. Their nests look like this but worse:

I couldn't find a picture that really captures the beauty of the sun shining through a webby structure filled with squirming caterpillars.

So between myself and several neighbors we researched the web (no pun intended), made phone calls to everyone we could think of, and found out that there's almost nothing you can do about these nasty creatures except pull them down in their webs with a stick and burn them, which we did as much as possible. The birds ate a lot of them too I think...

So disgusting.

*sigh*

It's one of those great Portland days where it rains and rains and rains and rains. Kind of suits my mood today though.

I'll get the sad stuff out of the way first. I lost another dog friend yesterday. My neighbor Linda adopted Tony the pug from a pug rescue place a little over a year ago I think. He had been living with an older couple and when the husband died the widow decided she didn't want him anymore. (Which is sad enough by itself... I just can't comprehend it.) Tony couldn't really see anymore (cataracts) and his hearing wasn't great either but otherwise was a seemingly healthy and spry little guy. Linda got him to be a friend to her other pug Boris, who is about the same age -- 9 or so. The best Tony story is that Linda saw something on Oprah or some show about a talking dog who would say "I love you" back to his to his owner when she said it first. Linda decided she'd try it with Tony and sure enough, next thing you know, Tony is saying "I love you" (in a doggie growly sort of way) back to Linda. It was hilarious. That trick was a huge hit at the neighborhood garage sale :)

So yesterday evening as I was about to leave to go to dinner there was some commotion next door. Linda had just come home and couldn't find Tony. So off I went, walking around the neighborhood, yelling "Tony!". (Fortunately he had a name that wasn't to bizarre to walk around yelling in the twilight like Nacho or something.) Linda's sons and friend were all driving around looking as well. After about an hour is got dark and there was no sign of him. Linda went to go put up signs around the neighborhood. The cool thing was I ran into people I knew and/or Linda knew so there were at this point at least 10 people keeping an eye out for him. I came back home, checked online for any "found dog" ads that might be him with no luck and eventually went to sushi over an hour late. (Sorry Jen, Michelle, Annie, and Zarah...)

When I came home, Linda heard me pull up and came out to tell me that she had found Tony dead under her bed. It seems pugs are prone to heart attacks and that's probably what happened. She was obviously very upset so I took her over a glass of wine and we talked for an hour or so. She gave Tony a great last year of his life... I'm sure it wasn't a bad way for him to go but it's hard on Linda. Any dog that I've ever known has died after being sick. At least that way the people get a chance to say goodbye. Whenever this happens I realize (again) that Jackson is getting to be an old man (he's older than Tony and a big dog too) and that makes me very sad. I am going to be an absolute train wreck when his time comes...

Anyway this is all too sad. Friday we had a rainy/sunny/stormy day and a rainbow... I don't know why I like them so much but I do. When I was a kid I almost severed a major artery by putting my hands through our glass storm door while running outside to see a rainbow -- still have the scar. Must be a gay thing :)

In the news today -- in case you missed it

This is pulled directly from Reuters... So so so embarassing...

Childrens do learn," Bush tells school kids
Wed Sep 26, 2:03 PM ET
Offering a grammar lesson guaranteed to make any English teacher cringe, President George W. Bush told a group of New York school kids on Wednesday: "Childrens do learn."
Bush made his latest grammatical slip-up at a made-for-TV event where he urged Congress to reauthorize the No Child Left Behind Act, the centrepiece of his education policy, as he touted a new national report card on improved test scores.
The event drew New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Education Secretary Margaret Spellings plus teachers and about 20 fourth and fifth graders from P.S. 76.
During his first presidential campaign, Bush -- who promised to be the "education president" -- once asked: "Is our children learning?"
On Wednesday, Bush seemed to answer his own question with the same kind of grammatical twist.
"As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured," he said.
The White House opted to clean up Bush's diction in the official transcript.
Bush is no stranger to verbal gaffes. He often acknowledges he was no more than an average student in school and jokes about his habit of mangling the English language.
Just a day earlier, the White House inadvertently showed how it tries to prevent Bush from making even more slips of the tongue than he already does.
As Bush addressed the U.N. General Assembly on Tuesday, a marked-up draft of his speech briefly popped up on the U.N. Web site, complete with a phonetic pronunciation guide to get him past troublesome names of countries and world leaders.

Some good news for a change

First, an update... I'm staying in the house with my brother Ken. Matthew isn't living here but his things still are for the time being. Things have settled down and everyone seems to be less stressed out.

So I've been shopping like a crazy person to replace everything I'll need when Matthew's things move out. I bought a microwave, bookshelf, sheets, comforter, mattress for Ken, sheets for Ken... I've been all over craigslist and found a couch (actually more a love seat due to space constraints in the living room) I really like. It's from Ikea and it's leather and was only $200. It fits perfectly.

The guy we got the couch from was also selling a dining room table and chairs which I didn't really like and don't have room for yet anyway so I turned that down. Then he said he had a bed he was trying to give away (!!!) and it turned out to be full size to match Ken's new mattress. However, this bed came with a mattress too. Mind you, I had just bought the new mattress two days before. I said "maybe I can take it back" and took the bed along with the mattress. Not really my style but what the hell...it's free.

It actually looks pretty good in Ken's room (this is not Ken's room -- these are the posting pictures). And the mattress is better than the one I bought. It's actually better than the one I sleep on. Turns out I can't return the mattress for cash, just store credit. I think I'm going to put it on craigslist and see how much I can get out of it. So I told this guy I really appreciated him giving me the bed and that I was trying to furnish half a house after a "divorce". Then he asks if I need a TV... So he gives us a TV too. It's old but it works just fine. I really need to do something nice for this guy. He obviously wasn't hurting for money (he had the biggest LCD TV in his living room I think I have ever seen) and this was just stuff he didn't want anymore (turns out he was going through his own "divorce") but he didn't have to just give us stuff. I hope he knows he really helped us out and he restored some of my faith in the basic goodness of people. I'm going to let him know...

Wrestling a pit bull and other fun things

I suppose I should take some time to thank everyone for their offers to talk and to help in any way they can during this time. I really do appreciate it. That said, I'm so so so sick of talking about it and I hope I never have to say the phrase "inappropriate text message" again. I have good days and bad days -- and I know I'm lucky to have the good ones. If nothing else it has been amazing to hear from so many people from so many parts of my life who care about me. I'll be fine :)



So here's what I've been up to lately. My friends Annie and Zarah were out of town for a wedding this weekend so I was pet-sitting for them. They have a dog, Malakai who is apparently a mix of pit bull and Australian shepherd. He's adorable.

He's also a bit high-strung to say the least and I had never met him before I came over to get the scoop on the pet-sitting. He gave me a bloody lip with his nose the first time I met him just because he was excited to see me (still a litlle swollen). I was worried he'd not remember me and not be pleased to have a stranger in his house. Turns out that was a non-issue. Once I figured out the gentle leader thing we had a couple very nice walks and he's now one of my good dog friends. However, he's VERY VERY VERY strong and can knock me down without even thinking about it. Fortunately I don't think he knows his own strength. Otherwise he may have just taken me out for a rawhide chew.

Turns out the problem child in this particular situation was a cat named Savage. If I didn't have a dog named Diablo who turned out to be somewhat devilish I would question the name, but I'm comfortable here in my glass house. The first time I came over he was crying (I thought) and wanting some attention so I was petting him when he clawed my arm and drew a little blood. The rest of that particular visit was spent trying to keep him from attacking my legs and marveling at all the yowling and hissing that was going on.

I showed up for my second visit armed with a squirt bottle to keep the evil one at bay, but suddenly we were friends. No further problems with the savage Savage.

Finally, I had my first volleyball tournament this weekend. I'm still exhausted and sore but I had a good time and the people on my team have assured me repeatedly that I wasn't all that terrible. I'm sure at some point I'll be at least good enough to not feel the need to apologize for being on a team with someone. Especially certain very competitive someones :)

After volleyball I had a disco nap and then went out to the gay bars with Daniel (my last ex) who was visiting from NYC. No photos... It was a good reminder of why I never go out anymore. I was very tired of being elbowed and stepped on by the time I headed for home.

I guess that's all I have for now. So much for catching up on my sleep tonight.

I know what I did this summer

So some of my friends circulated a "what have you been up to this summer" email chain that I've been meaning to add my two cents to, and now I suddenly have some time... (More on that later.)

So here goes...and this is the abbreviated version (believe it or not):

Late this last March, my brother Ken moved in with us. He had found himself in a bad spot down in San Diego and needed some saving, and we saved him. Since then we discovered kind of by accident that he has Asperger's syndrome, which is a mild form of autism that he's had since birth. My family always knew he was different, we just never had a name for it or any sort of way to deal with it. He has made tremendous progress and has now officially been diagnosed and is attending support group meetings. However, he can be difficult to live with so it has been a long journey of adjustment for all involved.

Matthew's brother Shawn had already been planning on coming to stay here while he looked for a place to live in Portland the day before Ken planned on arriving, so in short order we went from two people, two dogs and a cat in a 900 SF 2 BR 1 BA house (already a bit tight) to 4 people and all the forementioned creatures. Things went surprisingly well -- different work schedules, etc. Shawn found an apartment in a matter of about a week, and no one had to sleep in the basement anymore.

Shawn decided a month later that he didn't want to live in Portland and moved back to Washington. Ken found a job, lost the job, and settled at Walgreen's four blocks up the street. He's now been there for 5 months and went from part time to full time. He seems to be doing well there.

Shawn has been back a few times for work here for a week or so at a time, so we've been back up to four several times but generally holding at three humans.

Over the late spring and summer, Matthew and I traveled a lot. We went to the Sasquatch Festival at the Gorge Amphitheater in central Washington just so I could see Bjork. I highly recommend you go see a show there, regardless of your interest in the band(s) playing. Just watch out for the excessive second-hand potsmoker high. Matthew bought a Toyota RAV4 on eBay in LA so we flew down to pick that up and drove it back. We stopped in Sacramento (where I lived for a couple years back in the day) to meet up with our friend Lottie and see the sights. Turns out Sac has turned into a pretty cool place -- we went to a wine bar, a great restaurant, and then out to Faces (gay bar of my youth), which now inexplicably includes a pool. So we drove CA from south to north, including the dismal stretch of I-5 that I've seen more times than I care to remember but Matthew had never traveled. The following weekend it was down to visit Lottie in Tahoe/Truckee, so we flew into Reno and and then drove to San Francisco and went to see the True Colors tour in Berkeley. Cyndi Lauper, Debbie Harry, Erasure, Margaret Cho! We arrived horribly late and missed most of it but got to see everyone at the end anyway. BART can be a mystery to out-of-towners. Thus, traveling California from east to west, we had effectively seen the state. We spent some time in Tahoe/Truckee after that, rafting the Truckee River (Lottie and her pug Oliver almost died, seriously) and touring Lake Tahoe via boat. I still don't have any pictures of that though as I'm expecting them from someone (hint hint).

Having had enough of California, we stayed closer to home after that. We went camping with Jen and Annie and the girls and our dogs for five days on the Oregon coast. It was a challenge to keep the girls from aggravating the dogs too much and to keep the dogs from begging for food too much, but it worked for the most part. We also went to the Oregon Coast Aquarium, which I had never been to and I now love. This is Annie, Rhi, and Chyanne in the ocean on an amazingly warm and beautiful day on the coast. I apologize for my videography skills.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1240989452343669137

Finally, I saw the JT in concert here in Portland this last Friday with my friend Amy. She's the one having twins WITH MY OTHER FRIEND (AND BOSS) HER HUSBAND RON. (I found out recently Ron apparently occasionally looks at my blog. Amy's blog is linked up above there.) Don't we look adorable?

It was good, but a little less than I wanted from it. All things considered, I managed to see Bjork and JT in one summer. I got to go a lot of fun places and see a lot of fun things. I got to spend time with my pseudo-nieces. No complaints.

In the interest of being abbreviated, Matthew and I have split up. If you want to know the details, you can contact whichever one of us you'd like to hear them from. We're working out all the minutiae of any divorce and it's painful and awful. I don't know what's going to happen and all I can do is the best I can with what life hands me on a daily basis. Lately life is handing some things I'd like to hand back to it. Hard choices all...

Gay volleyball!

So as part of my new "healthy living initiative" (more on that later) last night I went to the open gym for gay volleyball. My friends Jeff & Zach play and I met a lot of people at their BBQ who also play so off I went. I learned a few things last night:

(1) Volleyball has changed quite a bit since I last played years and years ago. Either that no one I ever played with was very serious about it. Or both. (2) These gay boys are SERIOUS about it. I spent most of the night trying to figure out where to stand (mostly out of the way) and trying not to hurt myself too badly. (3) My body at 38 is considerably less forgiving than it was at 22.

I wasn't very good, to say the least, and I have a floor-burned elbow and two very sore knees. However, they at least pretended to want me to come back so I guess it wasn't all bad. Oh, and you get to drink margaritas afterwards.

If this sounds like fun to you, click here.

I always forget something...

I'm still not smoking.

My friend Amy's pregnant and there are ultrasound pics on her blog. I'm unnaturally attached to her pregnancy and very excited it's going well :) There's also a recent pic of me on there -- since I'm always holding the camera and not in the photos on my blog...

Time flies when you're... well, it flies regardless

So much for blogging once a week. I'm BUSY :)

Anyway, I was having a crappy-ass day for no particular reason yet for various cumulative reasons so I went out to dinner (fish tacos!) with my friend Leslie (no photos unfortunately) and now I feel much better. I like that I can tell people various ridiculous things that go on in my life and then they laugh. Helps me laugh at life as well. I'll leave it at that. It's been a long week and a long last few months.

Yesterday was my pseudo-niece Tabi's 6th birthday party. I decided a while back I could call her my niece even though she's not blood-related, and the first time I did one my of my clients said "Oh, not your real niece". So they remain my pseudo-nieces. I should make them call me pseudo-Uncle Tim. So yeah, party photos -- this is Tabi on the right, her sister Chyanne on the left, and Jen in the middle. The candles wouldn't really light cuz it was too windy.

We spent a lot of time at the merry-go-round in the park. This is Matthew and (youngest pseudo-niece) Rhi spinning.

I have video but I don't think I can do it on here :(

More posting to come -- promise...

Oh yeah and this...

I forgot I need a cute boy... I guess of the last year in this case. I have no idea who he is. Found him on this blog : http://jakesboysbigbadblog.blogspot.com/ It's super-fun if you like boys.

Over a year ?!?

So one of my post-birthday resolutions is to be better about my blog... That and quitting smoking. The quitting smoking has been a bit rough so we'll see how this goes. I'm going to try to do once a week anyway. (Blogging, not smoking. Smoking will be no times a week.)

My news for the day is that yellowjackets SUCK! I seem to get stung every year, generally once. Today while I was working I apparently stumbled onto a nest and got stung once on my hand, once on my thumb, and once on my calf. For those of you not lucky enough to see what happens when I get stung, I swell up like a balloon. So my (fortunately left) hand is huge and I can't use the thumb on that side. (I'll spare you the photos...unsightly!)

Anyway, the Benadryl is kicking in so I think it's my bedtime. More to come soon.